Fried Money, Anyone?
by L1701E
Summary: Chapter 12 up! Complete! Cobra has a scheme to destroy America's money! Based on a classic GI Joe episode! Next: The Joes and the Misfits save the day! RR Please! Suggestions needed badly!
1. Cobra Craziness

**Fried Money, Anyone?******

**Hey folks! L1701E here with a brand new fic for you starring everyone's favorite elite anti-terrorist team of soldiers, GI Joe, and their wards, everyone's favorite team of military-trained teenage mutants, the original Misfits! As with "Cobra Stops the World (NOT!)", I based this on an old GI Joe episode. It was one of my favorite episodes, and it _screamed_ for a "Misfit-ization". I hope you enjoy this updating of a classic!**

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to me, Red Witch, Marvel Comics, and Hasbro Entertainment. Anyway, here's your quote: "Even if it means harming my Silkie." - Starfire, Teen Titans**

Chapter 1: Cobra Craziness

**Nighttime, a big city**

The night loomed over a city's streets. On this occasion, the name of the city was of no importance. It was also unimportant to tell anything special about this city. All that mattered was the action happening during this quiet night in the city. Several people, clad in black from head to toe, including ski masks and gloves, were pilfering various rare valuables from various antique dealers, museums, and jewelry stores. The robbers all made a getaway in a black van.

"I can't believe that you took a bunch of _comic books!_" The driver snapped to the passenger.

"Hey, these things are worth a lot of money! These are Captain Nebula issues 154 and 155 from 1980! These are rare issues, and in this condition, they are worth at least 50,000 bucks! MWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OW!" He got smacked in the back of the head by a thief sitting in the back.

"You're a twit, you know that?" The thief said to the one in the passenger seat. Her voice indicated she was female.

"Just because I _have_ a hobby that _doesn't_ involve dead people, that does **not** mean you have any right to judge me!" The passenger seat thief snapped at the female thief.

"I _like_ horror movies, okay?" The female thief snapped back.

"Yo, why don't you two just admit you like each other?" A voice said from the back.

"Shut up!" The passenger snapped.

"**All** of you idiots, knock it off! I'm trying to think!" The driver snapped. "Let's just head to the wharf and get our cash. We're all gonna have filet mignon and champagne tonight!"

"YAY!" The thieves all whooped happily.

**A wharf, later that night**

"Where are…" Xamot started. He was holding a briefcase full of money. The twin Crimson Guard Commanders were dressed in their blue Cobra uniforms.

"…those goofballs?" Tomax finished, looking at his watch impatiently. "I hope they didn't…"

"…decide to stop off at a McDonalds and buy Happy Meals again." Xamot grumbled. "Here they come now."

"If they did buy Happy Meals…" Tomax started.

"…they better have bought some for us." Xamot finished. The three thieves arrived and unmasked, revealing two guys: One with a blond mullet and one with short brown hair, and the third revealed herself to be a brunette woman with short hair. They took the merchandise, which was in a bag, and placed it in front of the two twins.

"We did the job, now where's our payment?" The blond snapped.

"We must check out…" Xamot started.

"…the merchandise first." Tomax finished, looking through the merchandise with his brother. "Ooh! Two rare issues of Captain Nebula! These are worth a bundle alone!"

"See? I told you." The brown-haired thief nudged the blond thief. The blond thief rolled his eyes. Xamot and Tomax nodded approvingly at the merchandise.

"You have…" Xamot started with a satisfied smirk.

"…failed to disappoint us." Tomax smiled. Xamot gave the thieves the briefcase. "I hope our future business endeavors…"

"…with you will be just as profitable." Xamot finished.

"Uh huh. You too, I guess." The female thief took the briefcase. _What a couple of weird talkers. Maybe they're those mutant thingamajigs I hear about on TV a lot._ The three thieves noticed an armored truck barrel towards them. "Look out!" They scattered. Tomax and Xamot expertly flipped over the truck. They watched the truck barrel down the pier, but it managed to stop before it hit the ground. The Crimson Guard Twins looked at each other.

"Rey Mysterio don't got squat on us!" The twins grinned, and then they high-fived. The driver of the van emerged and ran up to the two Cobra Command members.

"Sirs! The truck is ready for your usage." The driver reported. The twin Crimson Guard Commanders nodded in a satisfied manner.

"Here you go." Tomax and Xamot handed the two old Captain Nebula comic books to the driver.

"Sweet! Captain Nebula issues 154 and 155! I got the whole run now! WHAAAAA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!" The driver ran away, cackling like a lunatic. Tomax and Xamot stared at the cackling driver.

"That man needs help." They chorused.

**The Extensive ****Enterprises****Building**

Tomax and Xamot drove into their building, one of many across the world. They went up to their offices in a private elevator. Once inside, they changed from their Cobra uniforms to blue business suits with white shirts and yellow ties. One twin had a red rose on his lapel, to help differentiate between them.

"Ric Flair…" Tomax started with a smile.

"…hasn't got anything on us!" Xamot finished with a grin. The twins high-fived, grabbed their cases, and left their offices.

"We're going out for the day." They said to their six secretaries. "Hold all our calls."

"Yes, sirs." The secretaries replied in unison.

**A mountain top**

A Cobra Rattler, piloted by Tomax and Xamot, flew towards the Cobra base situated there. The base looked like a huge orange building with a huge angular cobra head on it.

**A laboratory inside the Cobra Base**

"Destro!" Serpentor yelled out. Destro turned from a device and saw Serpentor III walk in, accompanied by Tomax and Xamot. "Is my new device ready?"

"Serpentor, the Thermal Molecular Ignition Tramsmitter is ready and…" He noticed a grumbling Xamot and Tomax. They were covered in eggs. "Good God! What in the world happened to _them?_" The steel-masked Scotsman pointed at the twins.

"Virus…" Tomax grumbled.

"Zanya…" Xamot added.

"I…see…" Destro blinked. Crashing was heard. "What?" Several Cobra Viper troopers could be seen brawling as they passed by. "Oh God. I knew I should've stayed in bed today."

Well, well, well! Looks like Cobra's up to something new! What insanity will happen next? What's Cobra's newest scheme? What is the Thermal Molecular Ignition Transmitter? Can our heroes stop it? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	2. One Bad Poker Night!

**Fried Money, Anyone?**

_To todd fan: Hey there todd fan! I read the new chapters of "X-Men: Evolution, the Musical", and I loved them! Man, you really are into Liz Hurley, aren't you? I'm glad you liked the last chapter so far! Enjoy this new one, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "X-Men: Evolution, the Musical", "Slugs and Snails", "Little Shop of Mutants", and "Welcome To The __Enchanted__Land__"!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there Red Witch! Yeah, "Money to Burn" is one of my favorite GI Joe episodes! My birthday is coming up. I just may ask for those GI Joe DVDs for it. You wanted more? Here's the new chapter for you! Enjoy it, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Valor, Venom, and Other Stuff", and "Memories Are Made of This"!_

_To Aaron: Hey there Aaron! I'm glad you liked the last chapter, my friend! Yeah, in the Misfit-verse, "Captain Nebula" is a comic book character, and is one of the favorite comic characters of Kyle "Thunderbolt" Wildfire. Why were Virus and Zanya brawling? Well, maybe Virus accidentally made a crack about Starchild in front of her. Anyway, enjoy the new chapter!_

**Disclaimer: "What is this? Fruit Juice?"**

Chapter 2: One Bad Poker Night!

**A laboratory in the Cobra Base**

"So…what does this…thermal molecular ignition transmitter do?" Serpentor asked Destro. "It looks like an oversized musical and speech reception device."

"If you mean a radio…I suppose it does resemble a radio slightly." Destro nodded. _Oh brother. I think the lunacy of this place is starting to get to him._ "Anyway, would you like to see what the device does?"

"It's a lot better than hearing the Dreadnoks' latest wit-filled and intelligent debate." Serpentor nodded.

"We are about to conduct a test." Destro smirked. He pulled several pieces of paper out of his pocket. "As you can see, these are genuine American currency. 100 dollar-bills to be exact."

"How the Americans denote their currency is no concern to me." Serpentor snorted.

"I know. But please observe." Destro put the money on a table. He nodded to a Cobra technician at the transmitter. The technician nodded and typed some commands into a console on the device. The transmitter glowed bright red for a second, then fired a pink beam at the pile of money. The money burst into flame. Within seconds, the money was ash. Serpentor nodded, showing he was impressed.

"I am impressed. Money is indeed the lifeblood of the United States, as Tomax and Xamot here have said before." Serpentor smirked at the twins, who only nodded once in unison with smiles.

"Indeed, Serpentor." Destro smirked.

"By this time tomorrow…the United States will be in financial ruin, and will be at our knees. And soon afterward, the _world!_" Serpentor crowed.

**The Pit communications room**

In the Pit communications room, several Joes, and a couple of the Misfits, were gathered around a table. Some money was at the center of the table.

"Hey Ace, you sure it's a good idea to let the boys in?" Ripcord, a Joe para-trooper, asked Ace, a Joe pilot. Ace had on a blue dealer's visor.

"They ain't boys, they're merely amateurs." Ace replied sagely.

"You saying we can't play poker, Ace?" Lance Alvers teased with a smirk. Lance was one of the Misfits. He was a mutant with the power to shape and move earth, hence his codename of Avalanche. He was also the lead guitarist of the Superstars, the world's first all-mutant glam-metal band.

"Don't mind Ace, yo. He tends to run his mouth at the poker table." A frog-like boy snickered, running a hand through his long dirty blond hair. This was Todd Tolensky. He was one of the first Misfits, codenamed Toad. His mutant gene gave him a frog-like appearance, but it also gifted him with superhumanly strong legs, reflexes, agility, night vision, acid spit, and the ability to cling to walls, along other abilities.

"You're going to regret saying that, Frogface." Ace teased back. "Around here, when it comes to gambling, I _am_…the undisputed…king of gambling."

"Here he goes again." Alpine, a Joe mountain trooper and account, sighed. "Hey Your Majesty, let's deal already."

"Too bad Kitty and Al ain't here, yo. We could play strip poker." Todd joked.

"Kitty would kick my butt for _suggesting_ it." Lance shook his head with a smile.

"Okay boys…" Ace announced as he dealt cards out to the guys. "The game is standard rules because we got new players, and jokers are wild." The pilot dealt out the cards and the players all looked at their hands. Ace whooped. "Read 'em and weep, boys! I got a hand that no one can beat!"

"What's going on here?" Roadblock, a GI Joe heavy machine gunner, and Toad's guardian, walked into the room. He eyed Lance and Toad.

"Uh oh…" Alpine gulped.

"Toad, what have I told you about hanging around Ace?" Roadblock crossed his arms and looked at Toad sternly.

"Uh…" Todd blinked. "Not to if you value your allowance?" Todd guessed. Ace chuckled.

"Relax, Roadblock." Ace chuckled. "I'm just teaching him a valuable skill he'll need later in life."

"Poker is not _that_ valuable a talent." Roadblock said to Ace. "You're trying to give me even more lament!"

"I dunno. I kinda like it." Lance cracked a big grin at Roadblock.

"I'm out." Alpine threw down his cards.

"Me too." Alpine agreed. "No way can we take down Ace."

"Oh no! I think Ace is full of it." Lance smirked. "Even _he_ can't keep up his lucky streak forever!"

"Yeah, yo! You're bluffing!" Todd agreed. Ace let out a smirk.

"Ahh, youthful mistakes." Alpine crossed his arms and shook his head good-naturedly at the two Misfits with a smile.

"Boys, you are going to regret that." Ace smirked. He was about to throw down his winning hand when suddenly, the money on the table erupted in pink light and incinerated. "What? My winnings!"

"Where'd the money go?" Lance blinked.

"Hey!" Alpine felt something going on in his back pocket. He pulled out his wallet and looked in it. "My money!" Alpine shook the wallet over the table, and ash came out, landing on the table.

"Everybody check your wallets!" Lance ordered. "Put the money on the table!" Roadblock, Toad, Ace, and Lance took out their wallets and emptied them. Instead of money, ash came out of their wallets.

"You're kidding me!" Ace exclaimed in shock. "I had the winnings from three other games today in here! What's going on here?"

"Did…did all our cash just do the big flash?" Roadblock blinked.

"I got a bad feeling about this, yo." Todd said to Lance.

"Yeah." Lance agreed with a nod. "I got a funny feeling that a certain bunch of snakes is behind this."

Well, well, well! Lance may not know how right he is! What insanity will happen next? What is Cobra up to now? Why are they destroying money? Can our heroes put a stop to it? Will Ace ever get his winnings back? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	3. Communication Chaos!

**Fried Money, Anyone?**

_To RogueFanKC: Hey there, RogueFan! The episode this story is based on is called "Money to Burn", and it's a good episode. Yeah, I believe a Misfit will one day beat Ace in poker, as well. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can't wait for the new chapter of "X Kat: The Mutant Squadron"! _

_To Aaron: Hey there Aaron! Poor old Ace, he was so in the green. He's **really** going to go after Cobra for that. You have to admit, poker is a great way to do some good old fashioned male bonding between the male Misfits and the male Joes. Yeah, I can imagine Althea wanting to play strip poker. I can also imagine her losing on purpose to show Toad what he managed to get. You bet it's going to be fun! Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To todd fan: Hey there todd fan! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Slugs and Snails", "Welcome to the Enchanted Land", "Little Shop of Mutants", and "X-Men: Evolution, the Musical"!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there, Red Witch! Yeah, it's not a good idea to teach Todd to play poker. I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Enjoy the new one, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Valor, Venom, and Other Stuff", and "Memories Are Made of This"!_

_To Raliena: Hey there, Rae! Glad you liked the last chapter! How will our heroes get their money back? You'll see! Enjoy the new chapter!_

**Disclaimer: "Somebody's baking brownies!" - Eric Cartman, ****South ****Park**

Chapter 3: Communication Chaos!

**The Pit communications room**

General Hawk walked into the Pit's communications room. Accompanying him was Ace, Ripcord, Alpine, Roadblock, Toad, and Avalanche.

"Breaker, you called?" Hawk asked a green-uniformed Joe sitting at a console. Breaker was a radio operator, and he was one of the original 13 GI Joes.

"Yeah, General. I think I may have figured out why everyone's money vaporized GAH!" Breaker stated. He was interrupted by Ace angrily grabbing him by the front of his shirt and pulling Breaker's face up to Ace's own.

"You had _better_ have found out what happened to _my_ winnings, or else, I swear to God, I will stick my foot so far down your throat, I will be using you as a legwarmer!" He hissed to a very scared Breaker in a very threatening manner. Ace was almost drooling in rage. He then started shaking Breaker. "DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME? I WANT MY MONEY! I WANT MY MONEY!"

"Calm down, Ace!" Alpine and Roadblock separated the scared, shaking Breaker and incensed, screaming Ace.

"Man, he's crazy, yo." Todd remarked to Lance. The geokinetic nodded.

"No kidding." Lance agreed. "But how would _you_ feel if your poker winnings suddenly vaporized?"

"Good point." Todd admitted. Breaker got back to his seat.

"Ace, you can go ballistic over your poker winnings later!" Hawk snapped. "In fact, I _banned_ gambling in the Pit!"

"RAAAAAAAAAH!" The roar was Ace's only response.

"Uhhh-huh." Hawk winced. He turned to Breaker. "What've you got, Breaker?"

"Well…" The radio man cleared his throat and shook himself a little to get rid of the shivers. "We got a transmission come in from Serpentor, the King of Snakes himself."

"People of the United States…" Serpentor put on his best 'evil dictator' look for the camera. "I…" He was interrupted by a crash. "Oh now what in the motherfu-AGH!" Serpentor got hit in the face by a hammer that appeared to be a large cinder block with a pipe through it.

"Ginger!" Torch appeared on the screen, shoving Gnawgahyde.

"Mary Ann!" Gnawgahyde shoved back.

"Ginger!"

"Mary Ann!"

"Ginger!"

"Mary Ann!"

"Hey, we're on TV!" Torch noticed. "Hey!" Gnawgahyde shoved him off the screen.

"Hello, Sheilas!" Gnawgahyde put on his sexiest smile. "Me name's Gnawgahyde. I'm single, I'm a gentleman, and I love to mingle. I'm a simple man who enjoys poaching, mayhem, and destruction, and nothing would make my poaching more worthwhile than if I had a beautiful Sheila by me side while I did it!"

"Yeah right!" Torch laughed, shoving the Australian bald Dreadnok off screen, much to his chagrin. "Hello, folks. I'm Tom Winken, but most know me as a professional criminal and all around fire-spewing evil Dreadnok called Torch. Well, I want to announce a brand new drink…" He held up a can and cracked a big grin. "Uncle Winken's grape soda! All the flavor and taste you expect from those big name sodas, but only a fraction of the price! This is made using only the finest ingredients, and there's even a non-alcoholic version for the kiddies! This is the official drink of the Dreadnoks, and it's available in all fine stores! So-HEY!"

"RAAAAGH!" Serpentor appeared on the screen, Road Pig's hammer raised above his head. He was just about to bring it down on Torch's head when the screen changed to a blue screen with the Cobra insignia on it in red and the message. "Please excuse the inconvenience. We're experiencing technical difficulties," in white letters. The sounds of screams and a fight could be heard. The Joes and Misfits burst out laughing, while Hawk just blinked at the screen in confusion. After a minute, the screen went back to Serpentor.

"And stay out! I don't know why I keep you dolts around! I have no idea why I pay you anymore!" Serpentor roared. He cleared his throat and turned back to the screen. "Anyway, people of the United States of America, your continued irresponsibility with your finances has forced me as your future emperor to wipe out your currency as a first step to create a new world order. More to come." A crash was heard.

"WHERE'S MY HAMMER?" Road Pig could be heard roaring off screen.

"Oh for the love of-" Serpentor muttered under his breath.

**The Department of the Treasury**

"We want money! We want money! We want money! We want money!" A crowd of several thousand chanted outside the Department of the Treasury building. Inside, Flint, Lady Jaye, Starchild, and Starway were listening to the manager of currency production explain his problem.

"The riot outside is growing worse every minute, demanding money." The manager said. "The problem is, we can't answer their demands! If we make more money, Serpentor will vaporize it!"

"Man, that is a problem." Starchild said. Real name Paul Starr, Starchild was a teenage mutant with the power to fire a purple laser from his right eye and the ability to hypnotize people.

"Can't you just use your hypnotic powers to calm them down?" Starway asked. Starway was a black-haired teenage girl named Lila Cheney, who had the mutant power to teleport interstellar distances in the blink of an eye.

"All that hissing lunatic has to do now is wait." Lady Jaye realized.

"Yeah." Flint nodded in agreement. "And he'll wait for the world to fall into chaos. Once there, it'll fall right into that hissing freak's hands…uh…no offense, kids."

"None taken." Paul and Lila said together.

"Besides, Serpentor gives us freaks a bad name." Lila grumbled.

Well, well, well! Looks like the Cobra gang are going to be in some big trouble! What insanity will happen next? Can our heroes stop Cobra's scheme? What is their scheme? And will Serpentor ever be able to do a decent transmission? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	4. Crowd Control!

**Fried Money, Anyone?**

_To RogueFanKC: Hey there, Rogue! Nice to hear from you again! Yep, Serpentor is back at it again, causing trouble. Lila did put out a really good point about him giving mutants a bad name, even though Serpentor is artificial. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for thenew chapter of "X Kat: The Mutant Squadron"!_

_To Aaron: Hey there, Aaron! Well, everybody fights in the Misfit-verse. When you're in that world, you can't help but get into a crazy fight. And if you're as smart as the average Dreadnok, the chances of you getting into an insane fight over nothing increase dramatically. Yeah, Cobra's latest plot is heating up! Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To todd fan: Hey there todd fan! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Slugs and Snails", "X-Men: Evolution, the Musical", "Little Shop of Mutants", and "Welcome to the __Enchanted __Land__"!_

_To Raliena: Hey there, Rae! Nice to hear from you! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there Red Witch! Nice to hear from you again! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! I'm especially glad you liked the Dreadnok fight. Those Dreadnoks may be trouble, they may be stupid, and they may smell really bad, but you have to admit, they are one heck of a hilarious bunch. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Valor, Venom, and Other Stuff", and "Memories Are Made of This"!_

_To Prophet-Song: Hey there Prophet-Song! It has been way too long since I last heard from you! It's very nice to hear from you again! You should get the GI Joe DVDs. I'm thinking about getting a couple myself. Birthday coming up and all. Enjoy the new chapter!_

**Disclaimer: "Seriously, dude. No one cares." - Me**

Chapter 4: Crowd Control!

**The Department of the Treasury**

"Sir!" An employee burst out of the printing section of the Department and ran towards, Flint, Lady Jaye, Starway, Starchild, and the manager. "Sir! That hissing fool Serpentor is back on the screen!"

"Uh oh." Lila grumbled. The two Joes, two Misfits, and the manager followed the employee to his office. Once there, the employee pointed to a television. Serpentor's mug was on it as bright as day, complete with a bandage on his nose from when he got whacked in the face by Road Pig's hammer.

"My head hurts…" Torch's pained whine could be heard off screen.

"Shut up!" Serpentor snapped. He then turned back to the screen. "Citizens of the United States of America, I am Serpentor. As you know, I have used the power and resources of Cobra to destroy your current currency system."

"I can only imagine how ticked off Ace would be about this." Lila shook her head.

"Forget Ace, what about Tomax and Xamot? I'm sure those two are not happy with the thought of money being destroyed." Paul suggested.

"I don't think so, Starchild." Lady Jaye said. "It's the ultimate way to make a profit. Establishing your own currency means you can control how the money is denominated, stuff like that."

"Wow. Maybe I should try that." Lila blinked.

"However, I did not eliminate your currency without preparing something to replace it." Serpentor continued. "Behold, the new Cobra dollar." He held up an ornamentally-decorated piece of light blue paper with one defining feature: A picture of Serpentor on the center.

"As Kitty Pryde would say, 'Like, eww, that is the most totally grody money I have ever seen, for sure'." Lila joked in a Valley Girl voice. Paul snickered.

"Lila, that's a pretty good Kitty impression, only she doesn't speak _that_ much like a Valley Girl." Paul complimented. Lila bowed.

"Thank you, kind sir."

"Knock it off, you two. We want to hear this." Flint rolled his eyes.

"To obtain Cobra dollars, you can exchange your valuables at any Extensive Enterprises building in your area. Your valuables will be traded for a fair price." Serpentor continued. "It's your only choice to continue civilization, America. I suggest you do." The transmission ended.

"Great." Lady Jaye grumbled. "Cobra is going to sucker people out of their most prized possessions."

"Craig would never be bothered by not having any money." Paul shook his head. "He stole stuff he wanted back when he lived on the streets."

"Unfortunately Paul, not everyone is Craig." Lady Jaye said.

"That's a good thing." Lila nodded.

"I highly doubt that Cobra intends to put any meaning behind the phrase 'fair price'." Paul noted.

"You think." Lila chuckled.

"Either way, we have a lead. Let's go!" Flint ordered. The four left the building, and they saw Pietro Maximoff outside. Pietro was codenamed Quicksilver because his mutant gene adapted his body and mind for speed. He was dressed in his blue-and-light blue costume with the silver lightning bolt crossing the chest.

"Where have you guys been?" Pietro exclaimed, brushing his white, nearly silver hair with his hand to make sure it was in place. "Look at that riot out there! It doesn't look pretty!"

"Cobra just announced that to get some new money they're making, the people can exchange their valuables for it down at any Extensive Enterprises building." Lady Jaye told the silver-haired speedster. Pietro remembered something.

"Oh yeah! I just remembered! I found an Extensive Enterprises building not too far from here during a scouting run. There's a huge line forming there. It's right that way! See you slo-mos!" Pietro zipped off with a grin.

"That impatient little…" Flint grumbled.

"Why am I not surprised? Mr. Ambiguous could never simmer down…" Lila shook her head. "Come on." The two Joes and Lila got on a pair of Silver Mirage motorcycles while Paul took his Starcycle. The three motorcycles raced off after the speedster. They got to the nearby Extensive Enterprises building.

"Whoa." Paul blinked as he took off his helmet. "Look at the size of that line. And I thought the lines for Kiss concerts were long."

"No kidding." Lila agreed.

"What took you guys so long?" Pietro smirked smugly. CLANK! "Ow!" Lila had thrown her helmet at Pietro, nailing him in the noggin. "What was _that_ for?"

"Come on! Let's see what hose snakes are up to." Flint ordered. The five walked towards the front doors of Extensive Enterprises, wanting some answers from Cobra. However, the people were in the line were not too happy to see the Joes and Misfits heading straight through them toward the door.

"Hey, get back in line!"

"The rest of us have to wait! You can, too!"

"Calm down. We just want to speak to the high-ups." Flint told the crowd.

"Then _wait_ like the _rest_ of us!" A man shouted, shoving Pietro to the ground.

"Hey!" Pietro snapped.

"Back off!" Flint snapped, shoving the man. "He's only a kid! We don't want a fight with you!"

"Too bad." Another guy said as a whole bunch of people surrounded the heroes. "Because we do."

"Whatever you kids do, don't fight back. This whole thing is just making everyone panicky." Lady Jaye ordered.

"I can use my powers to blind people temporarily. It doesn't hurt or anything, they just can't see for a while." Paul offered. "No permanent damage."

"I can kick up some winds to knock people over." Pietro added.

"And I can use my powers to teleport all over the place." Lila shrugged. "You know, shake these people up a bit. Give them a good Halloween-style scare."

"Okay, kids. Be careful." Flint nodded.

Well, well, well! Looks like our heroes are in trouble! What insanity will happen next? Can our heroes safely subdue the crowd? Can Serpentor ever pull off an incident-free communiqué? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	5. High Speed Rescue!

**Fried Money, Anyone?******

_To Aaron: Hey there, Aaron! How will the Misfits deal with this? It should be obvious. They're going to whoop Cobra butt! **That's** how they'll deal with this! Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Sparky Genocide: Hey there, Sparky! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Zanya meeting Paul and chasing him? That sounds interesting. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To todd fan: Hey there todd fan! I read the new chapter of "Little Shop of Mutants" and I loved it! Pyro is awesome as the Dentist! No better man for the role. And he offered chocolates at the end. Chocolates rule. I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Little Shop of Mutants", "X-Men: Evolution, the Musical", and "Slugs and Snails"!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there Red! I read the new chapter of "Valor, Venom, and Other Stuff" yesterday. I loved it, although I was deeply disturbed by Hawk (As Venomious Maximus) and Baroness. You bet this is going to get wild. I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can't wait for new chapters of "Valor, Venom, and Other Stuff" and "Memories Are Made of This"!_

_To Raliena: Hey there, Rae! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Well, the gang could use their powers defensively as well. Besides, none of the Joes or the Misfits want to harm anyone. Enjoy the new chapter!_

**Disclaimer: "Snakes. Why'd it have to be snakes?" - Harrison Ford as ****Indiana**** Jones, ****Indiana**** Jones and the Raiders of the Lost ****Ark**** (A great movie!**** Get it! You won't be disappointed!)**

Chapter 5: High Speed Rescue!

**The Department of the Treasury**

A riotous crowd was all over Flint and Lady Jaye. The two Joes, alongside their Misfit charges: the vain speedster Quicksilver, the interstellar teleporter Starway, and the laser-firing hypnotist Starchild. The crowd was angry and panicky because Serpentor and Cobra destroyed their money. Flint and Lady Jaye were using martial-arts maneuvers to subdue the people without harming them.

"Calm down!" Pietro shouted. He moved his arms in circles at great speeds. The action created a pair of wind gusts that harmlessly caused several rioting people to fall on their butts. "Sheesh! And the other guys say **I** get worked up!"

"Over here!" Lila snickered, teleporting behind a man, and tapping his shoulder. The man turned quickly, trying to punch Lila out, but the black-haired mutant girl just teleported away again.

"Hold still, freak!" The man snapped as he tried to hit her.

"Now _that's_ not a very nice thing to say, man…" Lila tutted as she continued her teleporting tricks. "And this is not a very nice thing for you to experience." She grinned as she gave the man a judo throw. "You'll be fine."

_I can't catch this many people with my hypnosis. But maybe…_ Paul thought as a bunch of people started to surround him. The Starchild eyed three big muscular guys. _Perfect…_ He grinned. A flash of purple light emanated from Paul's right eye, hypnotizing the big muscular men. "Surround me and hold the crowd back! Do not hurt them!" Paul ordered. Eyes glowing purple, the three big muscular men moved to surround Starchild and to hold the crowd back. Paul then went to work: He looked at the angry people and fired flashes of purple light from his eye, temporarily blinding them and forcing them to fall back. Meanwhile, a man emerged from a green pickup truck. He was dressed like a cowboy, complete with mustache, brown shirt, and blue jeans with a brown cowboy hat. Standing on the bed of his truck was a little blonde girl with her hair in two ponytails and dressed in a pink shirt and blue jeans. In the process of getting out, he accidentally knocked his car's gear shift loose.

"Now you stay here, Libby." The man told the girl in a Texan drawl. "Daddy's gonna take care of business."

"Okay, Daddy." The girl, Libby, replied sweetly with a smile. The cowboy smiled and he pulled out a rope from the truck cab. He walked toward the crowd. "Hey boys! I got some rope! We can use it to tie up those yahoos! And maybe it'll work on the freak kids they got with them!" As the man walked toward the crowd, the truck started to roll down a hill and swerve wildly…with Libby still in the truck. The girl let out a scream. "Libby!" The cowboy exclaimed. Flint stomped the foot of a man holding him, and ran past the cowboy. In the process, he took his rope, and leapt on a car.

"Quicksilver!" Flint ordered. "I'm going to lasso the kid! Catch her!" Pietro nodded and zipped towards the truck. He raced alongside the truck.

"Don't worry kid, you're going to be okay!" Pietro called to the little girl. Libby blinked.

"Are you a jackrabbit?" Libby blinked at Pietro. Pietro blinked at that statement. Flint lassoed the girl, and that was Pietro's cue. The silver-haired speedster leapt into the air as Flint pulled the girl off with the lasso. Pietro managed to grab the girl and race off. The truck swerved and collided with the glass doors in front of Extensive Enterprises. "Whee!" The girl whooped. Pietro zipped up to the cowboy and put Libby in his arms.

"Thank you, man." The cowboy said to Pietro. "You freaks ain't so bad after all."

"Yeah, well…" Pietro grinned widely and smugly. "All in a day's work for the Fabulous, Incredible, Amazing, and all-around awesome Quicksilver, the greatest hero of them all! I have it all! Power, looks, coolness…" As Pietro rambled, Lila walked up to him, shaking her head. She shot Pietro a deadpan look, shaking her head. She bonked Pietro in the head with her fist. "Hey! Ow! That hurt, Lila!"

"You…are…a…_twit!_" Lila snapped. She grabbed a screaming Pietro by the ear.

"My ear! Ow! That hurts!" Pietro exclaimed.

"Come on! Paul and I need a hand!" Lila snapped, pulling Pietro away.

"Wait! Stop! They saved my daughter's life!" The cowboy yelled at the crowd.

Well, well, well! Looks like the Misfits have a new fan! What insanity will happen next? Can our heroes get to Extensive Enterprises? What does Tomax and Xamot have planned? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	6. Invasion!

**Fried Money, Anyone?******

_To Haretrigger: Hey there Haretrigger! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, it figures the Misfits would pull off some great crowd control. I can imagine the Hellions freaking out about there not being any money. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for the new chapter of "Thesis of A Black-Winged Angel"!_

_To todd fan: Hey there todd fan! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, I'm with you on that, the Misfits need some fans. Actually, they do have quite a few fans! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "X-Men: Evolution, the Musical", "Slugs and Snails", "Random Tales of the Magic Roundabout", and "Little Shop of Mutants"!_

_To Prophet-Song: Hey there Prophet! Nice to hear from you again! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there, Red! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Well, I figured that even **Pietro** has to do **something** heroic for once in his life. He may be a vain egocentric jerk, but he does wear a White Hat. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Memories Are Made of This" and "Valor, Venom, and Other Stuff'!_

_To Raliena: Hey there, Rae! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, the gang proved they were heroes. Enjoy the new chapter!_

**Disclaimer: "Well then, what is time again?" - Tom Hanks as ****Lawrence**** Bourne III, Volunteers (This movie is really good!)**

Chapter 6: Invasion!

**The Department of the Treasury**

"That was somethin', boy!" The cowboy complimented Flint as the Joe freed Libby from the lasso and handed the rope back. "I haven't seen ropin' skills like that since the 1985 County Fair!"

"Spur of the moment thing, sir." Flint chuckled, handing back the rope. The cowboy turned back to the crowd, which was barely being controlled by Lady Jaye, Starchild, Quicksilver, and Starway.

"Mr. Ambiguous, quit dancing around and help me!" Lila snapped, teleporting around in an attempt to keep the crowd disoriented.

"Do I _look_ like I'm dancing around to you?" Pietro snapped, using the slipstream from his superhumanly fast running to knock people safely off their feet.

"Come on, you two! Now's not the time to share your classic banter!" Paul exclaimed. Using his hypnotic powers, Paul made several muscle-bound men surround him and hold back the crowd while he used light flashes from his right eye to temporarily blind people.

"Maybe I can calm them down and help your friends. Let me try. It's the least I can do after what you guys did to save my daughter." The cowboy offered to help. Flint blinked.

"It was just part of our job, sir. I can't allow you to put your own life in danger." Flint explained.

"Where I come from, when someone helps you out, you help them. Your kids' powers are just freaking them out." He kneeled down to Libby. "Stay with the nice soldier." Libby nodded. The cowboy turned to the crowd. "Listen up, you yahoos! Knock it off! These guys have got business they need to take care of in there! Let them through! Hey! Stop! Quit it! They saved my daughter! Knock it off!" The cowboy's pleas seemed to work. The crowd appeared to calm down.

"Oh, thank God." Lila sighed, panting slightly. "All that teleporting was starting to wear me out."

"Wow." Flint blinked. "Thanks, man. You've been a big help." He shook the hand of the cowboy.

"Anytime, partner." The cowboy grinned.

"Alright kids, let's go!" Lady Jaye ordered. Lady Jaye and Flint walked into the building, being accompanied by Starway, Quicksilver, and Starchild.

"Hey!" Two Executive Enterprises security guards exclaimed as they ran up to the two Joes and three East Coast Misfits.

"You can't go in there! The bosses have given me strict orders! No one's allowed in the building right now!" One guard yelled. "Hey!" He got tossed to the side by Flint. Lady Jaye grabbed the other guard and put him against the wall. She then put a knife to his neck. Flint's jaw dropped and eyes widened at the display.

"You got orders against us going in too?" Lady Jaye asked sweetly. The guard quickly shook his head. "I thought so." She threw him to the side. Throughout the whole thing, Flint's jaw was still agape and his eyes still wide.

"Never make her mad, Flint." Lila whispered to Flint. Flint's head bobbed up and down slowly.

"She must be having one of those MM!" Pietro started to quip, but Paul quickly clamped his hand over the speedster's mouth.

"Phew." Paul wiped his brow with his other hand. "Man Pietro, you must really want to get beaten up." The five walked into an elevator. "Going up!" The doors closed, and the elevator went all the way up to the penthouse suite. When the doors opened, the gang found themselves in a room with six secretaries behind desks.

"Six secretaries. Wow." Pietro blinked. "And a couple of them are pretty cute."

"Man, they must get a lot of business to have _this_ many secretaries." Lila blinked. "Not bad for a couple of terrorist twins." The senior secretary, a large grey-haired older woman with glasses, blocked the big wooden double doors leading into Tomax and Xamot's office.

"Eww." Pietro grimaced. "Hey!" Lila smacked him upside the head.

"The bosses are currently working with a client, and they have strict orders not to be disturbed HEY!" Flint gently picked up the woman and put her beside the door like a piece of furniture. The Joes and the Misfits burst right through the door.

"What ever you two twin terrors are planning, we're going to shut it down!" Flint roared. The Crimson Guard Twins smirked from behind their desks, putting their hands behind their heads, putting their feet on the table. With them, sitting on a nearby couch, was a blonde woman with her hair in a bun, dressed in a pastel pink business suit.

"Have you no…" Tomax started.

"Sense of manners?" Xamot finished. "We were engaging…"

"In a business meeting…" Tomax continued.

"At this moment." Xamot concluded.

"What do you mean?" Lady Jaye asked suspiciously.

"We are merely acting…" Xamot started.

"As brokers for a percentage of the gross." Tomax continued. "And you happened to be interrupting…"

"A legitimate meeting with a legitimate client." Xamot finished. The twins pointed in unison to the woman.

"Meet Ms. Rebecca Rockerdale." The twins said in unison.

"Who's she?" Lila whispered to Flint and Lady Jaye. "I heard that name somewhere on TV."

"She runs racehorses." Paul whispered. "My family knew hers."

"We apologize for the interruption, Ms. Rockendale." The twin Crimson Guardsmen Commanders apologized to the woman in unison. "We would like to continue this on our company jet tomorrow morning."

"Yes, I'd appreciate that." The woman smiled. The Joes and Misfits blinked.

"That…was pointless." Pietro observed.

"Thank you, Captain Obvious." Lila said cheekily. Flint winked at Lady Jaye. The Ranger smiled. Flint had a plan.

Well, well, well! Looks like our heroes just wasted some time! What insanity will happen next? What's Flint's plan? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	7. Piloting with Disaster!

**Fried Money, Anyone?******

_To Aaron: Hey there, Aaron! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! The reason why Paul and Craig didn't mock Tomax and Xamot by imitating then is because Craig wasn't with Paul at that time. What's __Flint__'s plan? Well, if you saw the original episode, you'll know what the plan is. I thought that bit with Lady Jaye would be good for a laugh. You should see her drunk. She shows her Irish-Scottish heritage when she's drunk. She'll smack __Flint__ around…when she's not trying to get her hands on him for other reasons. I will keep it up. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To todd fan: Hey there, todd fan! I read the new chapter of "Slugs and Snails", and I loved it! Circles are funny! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! I really do appreciate the drawing of the "Black Ice" incarnation of Iceman on your DeviantART account. Thank you again, tf. If I can get an account, I'll see if I can draw something for you. Maybe a Transformer that has the alternate form of a red Welsh dragon or something. I once did own a little Welsh flag… Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Slugs and Snails", "X-Men: Evolution, the Musical", "Little Shop of Mutants", and " Tales From the Magic Roundabout"!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there, Red Witch! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Oh yeah, things are going to get fun. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for a brand new chapter of "Valor, Venom, and Other Stuff"! If I ever come up with anymore ideas for "Memories Are Made of This", I'll let you know!_

_To Raliena: Hey there, Rae! I have no idea why you think badly of this plan. The Joes may be wacky, insane, and crazy, but you do have to admit, they can make a plan. A Joe plan only can be screwed up by two things: Airtight's gadgets going wrong, and Tripwire **(Tripwire: HEY! I can't help that I mess up! I do try, you know! I have feelings too, man!)**. I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Enjoy the new chapter!_

**Disclaimer: "Are we all feeling HAPPY!" - Gelder, from todd fan's fic "Slugs and Snails"**

Chapter 7: Piloting with Disaster!

**The nearby airfield**

At the airfield, three Cobra agents were standing guard around the entryway to a small Lear jet decorated with the Extensive Enterprises logos and colors. A whistle was heard. The three agents turned their heads and saw Pietro waving and whistling at them.

"Hey Cobra Clowns! Your mothers blow bubblegum! I fart in your general direction and burst my pimples at your aunties! You silly Cobra Vee-Pears!" The silver-haired mutant speedster teased in a cheesy French accent.

"Pietro, do you really need to be this cheesy?" Lila whispered.

"It works! Here they come!" Pietro grinned. The Vipers rounded the corner. "Now Paul!"

"Hi guys!" Paul's eye flashed and the three Cobra agents' eyes started glowing purple, indicating they were now under the 80s-rocker-like teenage mutant.

"Nice work, Paul." Lila grinned. "Got the image inducers, Pietro?"

"Yeah, yeah." Pietro grumbled, handing out the watches. The three Misfits put on the watches and switched them on. They turned into three adult Cobra agents. "I look ridiculous." Pietro looked at himself in the reflective watch cover. "These Cobra guys have absolutely no sense of style."

"They don't really care about fashion, Maximoff." Lila groaned. "They just care about causing madness and mayhem."

"This is going to be the best acting job ever!" Paul snickered.

"Not for us, sadly." Lila said as the three teens quickly took the places of the guards. Tomax and Xamot walked into the plane alongside Ms. Rebecca Rockendale. However, what the twin Crimson Guard Commanders didn't realize was that the woman with them was actually Lady Jaye in disguise. _Man, I feel sorry for poor old Jaye. I hope she can pull off the performance. Although I have heard she can pull off stuff like this real well._ The three mutant holographically-disguised teenagers watch the plane fly down the runway and take off. The three disguised kids walked toward a fuel truck and shut off their devices. Inside, they found Flint in the truck. Next to him was Ms. Rockendale, who was laughing at something that Roadblock was saying. The heavy machine gunner was sitting behind the driver's seat.

"Thanks again for helping us out, Roadblock." Paul grinned.

"No problem." Roadblock grinned back. "I'm always glad to help save the day in my own special way."

"You have a way with women, Roadblock." Flint chuckled. "Ol' Rockerdale over here wouldn't stop complaining about being held up like this, but you managed to change her mind."

"How? Ms. Rockendale is notoriously stubborn." Paul blinked.

"Well…" The racehorse-owning woman smiled. "This young man right here has just told me a wonderful recipe for a soufflé."

"Well, what do you know? Never underestimate the unifying power of food, huh?" Pietro joked.

"Makes you want to listen to Blob more, huh Quickie?" Lila smirked. Pietro scoffed.

"Yeah right. Like that guy could contribute anything besides recipes OW!" Pietro exclaimed. Lila had swatted him upside the head.

"Hey man, what can I say? I am a gourmet." Roadblock grinned. On board the jet, Lady Jaye activated a secret hidden transmitter in her brooch.

**A hangar at the airfield**

"Gonna kill those Cobras…gonna kill those Cobras…" Ace muttered as he rocked back and forth in his pilot's seat. Ripcord, the Joes' HALO jumper, was sitting in the navigator's seat of the Joe Tomcat, hidden in a hangar of an airfield.

"Uh, Ace…" Ripcord said. "I'm worried about you, man. You're not letting the poker game get to you, huh?"

"Gonna kill those Cobras…Gonna kill those Cobras…" Ace's muttering and rocking was stopped by a bleeping from Ace's radar screen. "Hey…the screen…Lady Jaye did it! We got 'em!"

"Now we can find those snakes' secret lair…" Ripcord grinned.

"AND AVENGE MY POKER WINNINGS WITH VENGEANCE AND FURIOUS ANGER!" Ace roared, punching the throttle. "WHOOOOOOOO!"

"ACE! WAIT FOR THE-" Ripcord screamed as the Joe F-16 raced out of the hangar.

**_CRASH!_**

"YEEEEEEAAAAAH!" Ace howled as the Tomcat crashed through the hangar door and zipped down the runway.

"MAAAAAAMAAAAAA!" Ripcord screamed.

"OH MY GOD! ACE! YOU NUT! YOU SMASHED THE HANGAR!" Roadblock yelled.

"ACE! YOU NEARLY KILLED ME!" Ripcord yelled. "OH GOD, I JUST HAD A HEART ATTACK!"

Well, well, well! Looks like Ace has just snapped! What insanity will happen next? Will Ace do something rash? Will Lady Jaye be able to get to the Cobra base? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	8. Plane Crazy!

**Fried Money, Anyone?**

_To Sparky Genocide: Hay there, Sparky Genocide! Nice to hear from you again! Yeah, I know which episode it's based on, too. Why would Ms. Rockendale start beating up on Pietro? I can imagine why some people would be under the impression that the Evolution version of Pietro would be gay. The man is as straight as an arrow, though. The Misfits get a wild boar as a thank you gift from the cowboy? I like that idea! I'll see if I can fit it in at the end! I'm glad you enjoyed the last chapter! Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there, Red Witch! I'm glad you liked the new chapter! Did you catch the little Monty Python reference from Pietro in the last chapter? Anyway, I agree with you. Ace losing it is pretty funny. Anyway, enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait to read more from you, especially new chapters of "Valor, Venom, and Other Stuff"!_

_To todd fan: Hey there todd fan! Nice to hear from you again! Yeah, if I can get the scanner to work, and I can get a DeviantART account, I'll work on it. And if I can find some time. I have a lot of fics to work on, and add college on top of it…man, I get bushed. Personally, my favorite incarnation of Transformers is Generation 1, the originals from the 80s. Robots becoming cars and jets. Nothing better than that. And I believe that if a Transformer has an animal for an alternate form, it should be a robotic animal. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Random Tales of the Magic Roundabout", "Slugs and Snails", "Little Shop of Mutants", and "X-Men: Evolution, the Musical"!_

_To Raliena: Hey there Rae! Nice to hear from you again! You should have more faith in the Joes. The Joes maybe wacky, but they are also very capable. They've beaten Cobra because despite their many oddities, GI Joe are at their core, a team of dedicated, intelligent, and capable officers. Well, if you won two hundred dollars in a poker game and it suddenly went up in some, you'd be angry too. I would be. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Kaishin Briefs: Hey there Kaishin! It's been too long since I last heard from you, man! How have you been? I'm glad you liked the last chapter!Dumbra...I like that insult. Real original. Well, Ace loves his poker winnings! Enjoy the new chapter!_

**Disclaimer: "Business is pickin' up!" - Jim "J.R." Ross, WWE Raw**

Chapter 8: Plane Crazy!

**The skies over the Western United States**

Tomax and Xamot's private Lear jet flew towards the Cobra base. However, they had no idea that they were being tailed by an F-16 Tomcat. The Tomcat was piloted by Ace, GI Joe's first member from the Air Force. He was a master pilot and a master gambler. He wanted a piece of the twin Crimson Guard commanders because their scheme cost him his poker winnings. The navigator was Ripcord, a HALO jumper for the Joe team. He looked very nervous right now.

"I'm gonna kill them…" Ace muttered under his breath. "I'll kill them all…make them pay…my beautiful winnings gone…they all gonna die…Gonna fire a big missile and watch them burn! MWAAAA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!"

"Okay, Mr. Crazy Man, may I speak to Ace now?" Ripcord gulped. "Look, I know you're angry…"

"Angry? _Angry?__ I'M **FURIOUS!**_" Ace roared. "Thanks to those two twin twits, I lost two hundred bucks! TWO HUNDRED FREAKIN' BUCKS! I was planning to buy a new pool table with that money!"

"But don't we have a pool table?" Ripcord blinked.

"No, not since yesterday. Leatherneck and Wet Suit had another bout of disagreement-it is." Ace replied.

"I guess it got brutal."

"Yeah. Wet Suit smashed the pool table over Leatherneck's head." Ace remembered. "We got pretty mad at Wet Suit…after we recovered from the shock of him being able to lift up a pool table like a cardboard box."

"So _that_ would explain why Leatherneck was in the infirmary babbling about pink unicorns trying to impale him." Ripcord realized. Ace nodded.

"Mm-hmm. That's why I'm so angry at those jerks." Ace grumbled. "I was planning to use the winnings to buy a new pool table."

"Not to mention that pool game bets are one of your more profitable ventures." Ripcord smirked. Ace shrugged.

"Yeah. That's true…" Ace's eyes widened. "What in the name of…" They saw the Lear jet appear to fly towards a mountain with a ring of clouds around it. The mountain was part of the Rockies. "Oh dear God!"

"Lady Jaye!" Ripcord exclaimed. "Those scale-faced lunatics! They're going to crash into that mountain!" The jet flew into the cloud around the mountain. "What?" The plane seemed to have disappeared. "Holy cats! What was that?"

"There should've been an explosion and debris!" Ace looked at his radar screen. "The infra-red scanners don't detect a thing. Not one little piece of scrap metal!"

"What is going on here?" Ripcord scratched his head.

"Ace to GI Joe…You are not going to believe this…" Ace said into his radio.

**The Extensive Enterprises' private jet**

"Oh my!" Lady Jaye said in shock. She was in her Ms. Rockendale disguise. "I thought we were going to crash!" The twin Crimson Guard Commanders chuckled.

"Forgive us for the fright…" Tomax reassured.

"We merely just wish to spare no expense in security." Xamot added. The Lear jet landed on an airfield in the Cobra base. The three emerged from the jet, Tomax and Xamot being very courteous for Lady Jaye. "As you can see, we have Cobra standard and Polar Troopers…"

"…stationed all over the base." Tomax continued. Lady Jaye noted what seemed to be a group of modified Battle Android Troopers. They were white with light-blue trim, and their heads made them look like they were wearing parkas. Their feet looked like elvin shoes, seeming to indicate they had foldable built-in skis. Their packs had a pair of ski poles attached to the sides, shoulder-mounted machine guns, retractable ice picks at the wrist, and the bottoms of their feet were lined with spikes. "Ah, I see you are admiring…"

"…our newest security feature." Xamot smiled proudly. "These are a version of the Battle Android Troopers that are specially designed for cold weather conditions."

"We call them the Snowstorms." Tomax smirked.

"Oh my. Are they robots?" Lady Jaye asked the twins as the three walked into the base. Jaye took Tomax's arm.

"Yes." The twins replied in unison.

"There is no need to fear, though…" Tomax started.

"Their AI is very simple. They are capable of combat, but…" Xamot continued.

"Outside of combat, all they can really do is march and stand guard." Tomax finished. The three entered the Cobra base.

"If you will excuse me, I have to check on our other…business associates." Xamot bowed respectfully and then went down a hall.

"We have the finest security for our vault, my dear." Tomax reassured. "Shall I escort you down?"

"That would be lovely." Lady Jaye smiled.

**The skies above the Rockies**

"Well, _now_ what do we do?" Ripcord groaned.

"This is weird." Ace looked at his display. "Hey Ripcord, you see this? Lady Jaye's transmitter is still broadcasting!"

"And the mountain…" Ripcord checked his radar. "It's not on the radar."

"Maybe it's a ghost mountain." Ace quipped.

"Something weird is going on." Ripcord put his finger to his chin. "I don't like this." Ace grinned evilly at the mountain.

_I'm going to get me a shot at those Crimson Clowns, heh heh. They gonna die._

Uh oh! Sounds like Ace has evil plans for the Crimson Guard! What insanity will happen next? Will our heroes figure it out? Will Lady Jaye be able to pull off conning the Crimson Guard twins? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	9. Touring!

**Fried Money, Anyone?**

_To RogueFanKC: Hey there Rogue Fan! Well, for Ace, he's well aware of the fact that two hundred dollars is no big monetary loss in his case, but it's really the principle of the thing. Lady Jaye? A brick? Lady Jaye would **never** use a brick. She's a Joe. She probably keeps a bazooka in there, heh heh **(Lady Jaye: The ultimate fashion accessory! (grins))**. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new work from you!_

_To Raliena: Hey there, Rae! Yeah, I think Ace could do with a nice long nap. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Aaron: Hey there Aaron! You are right my friend, money isn't everything. I'm glad you liked the last chapter! However, when Cobra zaps your money, you can't help but be angry! This is **Cobra** we're talking about! Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Sparky Genocide: Hey there, Sparky Genocide! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, I see what you mean. Sorry about any confusion. Don't worry about it. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To todd fan: Hey there, todd fan! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, the original Transformers rocked! I'm a big fan as well. One of my favorites was Soundwave. He was so cool, and he had all those little Transformers as tapes at his beckon call. I think if he was brought back today, he'd either be a CD player with CD warriors, or most likely an MP3 player with memory card warriors. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Slugs and Snails", "X-Men: Evolution, the Musical", "Tales From the Magic Roundabout", and "Little Shop of Mutants"! _

_To Red Witch: Hey there, Red Witch! I read the new chapter of "Cry Havok", and the new story "Evolution XMJ", and I loved them! What a gathering, and FREE ALEX! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Evolution XMJ" and "Cry Havok"!_

_To Kaishin Briefs: Hey there, Kaishin Briefs! It's been too long since I last heard from you, man! Where the heck have you been? I think Cobra did take a cue from James Bond. Yeah, I saw WrestleMania. NEW CHAMPS! NEW CHAMPS! Anyway, enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait to beta-read the new chapter of "The Life of Jonas Michaels"!_

**Disclaimer: "Two governors packin' heat. Nothin' better than that, man. Nothin' better." - Me on Predator**

Chapter 9: Touring!

**The Cobra Base, the ****Rocky Mountains**

"As you can see, Ms. Rockendale…" Tomax said to the disguised Lady Jaye. "Security here is the finest in the world! Nothing will be able to get at our cargo. We have a team of Cobra standard and Polar troopers, supplemented by the new Snowstorm android troopers, guarding this place around the clock." Tomax was taking Lady Jaye around the Cobra base. Tomax believed that Lady Jaye was actually Ms. Rebecca Rockendale, a client for Tomax and Xamot. Lady Jaye looked in a room, and several Cobra Vipers fighting.

"Gimme that cake!" One Viper roared at a second, lunging for a cake in his hands.

"No! It's _my_ cake!" The second Viper whined.

"You pig! I stole that cake from the Dreadnoks, and I want to have some of the cake!" The first Viper snapped. Lady Jaye shook her head.

_Man, what a bunch of idiots._ Lady Jaye thought.

**Dreadnok**** HQ**

"MY **CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!**" Thrasher screamed at the top of his lungs. "WHO TOOK MY CAKE! WHERE'S MY CAKE?"

**The Cobra Base, the ****Rocky Mountains**

"Shall I show you to the vault, my dear?" Tomax offered his arm.

"Why thank you, young man." Lady Jaye smiled, impersonating Ms. Rockendale's voice perfectly. "I would really appreciate that." She took the financier's arm. Tomax guided the woman to a huge room full of gold, jewelry, paintings, diamonds, and other various sources of wealth.

**The skies nearby**

"Man, this is messed up." Ace said to Ripcord. "If I don't break some Cobra spines soon, I'm going to go nuts! THEY FRIED MY MONEY!"

"I've been getting reports from the Misfits. They've been busy trying to quell unrest all over the country." Ripcord sighed. "I hope there isn't another one of those infamous Poker Riots of Topeka, Ace."

"Yeah, yeah." Ace shrugged. "Jaye's signal is still working…and that mountain's not on radar. Did you notice that?"

"Maybe it's a stealth mountain." Ripcord quipped. "I saw a prototype for one of those down at the Skunkworks' 'Show Off Secret Projects Day'."

"Ha ha." Ace rolled his eyes. "What is going on here?"

**The secret Cobra Base**

"As you can see, my dear Ms. Rockendale, we have the largest stockpile of valuable tangible goods in the entire world." Tomax beamed proudly at the stockpile. Lady Jaye eyed a door.

"What is in here, Mr. Tomax?" She asked, cutting through the door. Tomax noticed and ran after her. Lady Jaye saw what appeared to be a minting operation. She noticed a conveyor belt carrying Cobra coins.

"My dear, this is our minting operation." Tomax explained. "You see, not only so we store valuables here, we also mint the new currency the country will be using shortly." Lady Jaye picked up a coin and looked at it.

"It's pretty." Lady Jaye smiled. Tomax chuckled.

"Well, to be honest with you, Ms. Rockendale…" Tomax chuckled, running his hand through his black hair. "I never really thought to much about the looks of money, heh heh." Lady Jaye eyed another door.

"_Ooh!_ What's in here?" Lady Jaye happily walked in the door. She blinked in awe as she saw the thermal molecular ignition transmitter.

"Ms. Rockendale! You have to be careful! You don't know _what_ goes on around here!" Tomax admonished.

"What is that?" Lady Jaye asked. "It looks like a huge radio."

"It…uh…" Tomax gulped. "Well…uh…it, um…it…it _is_ a huge radio." Tomax chuckled nervously. "You see, we, uh, have to keep in touch with the New York office." The Cobra financier chuckled. Lady Jaye pulled out a gun in front of a shocked Tomax. She aimed it at the transmitter, only to get the gun knocked out of her hand by Xamot.

"She's a Joe!" Xamot yelled. Tomax moved and held down Lady Jaye, but she managed to slip out of her outfit and remove her mask.

"Sorry boys, I'm not that kind of girl." Lady Jaye kicked Tomax in the stomach, making him grunt. She noticed that Xamot felt the blow, and both twins collapsed. "Huh! A double play." Jaye noted before racing off as alarm klaxons blared. She threw a javelin into the air. It shattered a red glass dome. It was one of the eyes of the Cobra head on the base. She climbed out of the building under heavy fire. Once she reached the top, she flipped an unfortunate Polar Trooper off his feet. "Sorry. I need to borrow those." She stole the trooper's skis and poles and made her escape.

Well, well, well! Looks like Lady Jaye just may be in big trouble! What insanity will happen next? Will Lady Jaye escape? What is up with Tomax and Xamot? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	10. Still Plane Crazy!

**Fried Money, Anyone?******

_To Sparky Genocide: Hey there, Sparky Genocide! Nice to hear from you again! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Blob gives one of the twin Crimson Guard Commanders a mega-wedgie and the others feel it? I like that idea! I'll see what I can do with it, man! Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To todd fan: Hey there, todd fan! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Slugs and Snails", "X-Men: Evolution, the Musical", "Little Shop of Mutants", and "Random Tales of the Magic Roundabout"!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there, Red Witch! Nice to hear from you again! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, it's an old tradition in Cobra, the fight for cake. It stared way back when Cobra Commander tried to swipe a slice of pie from Destro way back in 1985. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Evolution XMJ"!_

_To Raliena: Hey there, Rae! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To the pilot of eva unit 04: Hey there, Eva! I'm glad you liked the story. It's based on the classic GI Joe episode "Money to Burn". Don't get me wrong Eva, I love to perform Kelly and Duncan torture, but it sure is difficult to pull off torturing those two in a stories that's not even set in Bayville. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait to beta-read the new chapter of "Road Trip"!_

**Disclaimer: "For this I closed my bathrobe?" - Rabbi Krustovsky, the Simpsons**

Chapter 10: Still Plane Crazy!

**The skies above the Rockies**

"Ace…" Ripcord looked at the mountain. "I got a funny feeling about that mountain…"

"What?" Ace asked.

"I got a funny feeling about that mountain." Ripcord repeated, still looking at the mountain. "It doesn't show up on radar, a plane flew into it and disappeared with no sign of wreckage…I don't think it's real, man. I don't think there's a mountain there. I think it's an illusion or something. What do you think, Ace?" Ace never answered. Ripcord blinked. "Ace? Ace? Are you listening to me?" He saw Ace staring ahead, an evil grin on his face.

_Should I impale them on pikes…Maybe I should dip them in scalding oil…or maybe tie them down and make them watch a marathon of girly cartoons…_ Evidently, the pilot was fantasizing about what possibilities he had in tormenting Tomax and Xamot. Ripcord used the reflection in the canopy to tell the expression. "**ACE!**"

"WHAT!" Ace snapped, rather cheesed about being dragged out of his fantasy.

"Weren't you listening to me?"

"No, I was busy thinking about which of Tomax and Xamot's bones I want to break first. I hate them I hate them I HATE THEM! I WANT THEM TO DIE! I WANT TO FIRE MISSILES WHERE THE SUN DOESN'T SHINE RIGHT NOW!"

"Oh-kay. Easy, Ace. Settle…we all know you want to kill the bad twins right now…" Ripcord calmed Ace down. "Iwas just thinking about that mountain. A Lear jet flew into it with no wreckage, no explosion…Lady Jaye's signaler is still going…and the mountain doesn't show up on radar."

"Yeah…" The wheels in Ace's head started to turn. "It's almost like…that…that…that mountain's not there."

"That's what I was trying to say, man." Ripcord told the pilot. Suddenly, a beeping was heard. "Uh oh…"

"What?"

"It's Lady Jaye! Her signal's stopped! She's in trouble!"

"We have to call the Joes!" Ace said. Ripcord pulled a lever. The canopy blew away. "Ripcord! What in the name of God are you _doing_, man?" Ace yelled.

"I'm going down there!" Ripcord yelled back. "Lady Jaye needs help!"

"**_WHAT?_** I thought **_I_** was the psycho on this plane! Get back here!" Ace yelled. "Ripcord, you nut! Get back here! You don't know what's down there! RIPCORD! AW **_FUDGE!_**"

"YO JOE!" Ripcord yelled as he parachuted down toward the mountain. "Hey! This mountain _is_ fake! I knew it! Whoo-hoo! In your **face**, Ace!" Ripcord noticed the big pink Cobra Base. He quickly grabbed his radio. "Hey Ace! You suck! The mountain's fake! It's just an overgrown hologram! Call Flint and get some backup here!"

"I am going to beat you into next year for this." Ace's voice darkly growled over the radio. A few minutes later, A group of cargo planes flew toward the holographic mountain.

"Alright! Let's go! Move! Move! Move!" Flint yelled at a group of Joe Greenshirt paratroopers. The last paratrooper stopped and started shuddering. "You gotta problem, soldier?"

"I'm scared, sir!" The paratrooper whimpered. "What if I get blown up?"

"That's an old wives' battle tale, soldier." Flint chuckled. "Don't worry about it, soldier. Just remember your training." Flint lightly smacked the Greenshirt in the shoulder. At least, he thought he did. He accidentally whacked the screaming paratrooper right out of the plane. Flint's jaw dropped. "Oh man…" Meanwhile, the cargo plane was also accompanied by Joe Sky Hawks. On the ground, the Joes brought out Snow Cats, Maulers, Armadillos, and Sluggers. The Joe armada raced toward the holographic mountain and through it.

"_Spam spam spam spam spam spam LOVELY SPAM WONDERFUL SPAM spam spam spam spam spam…_" Beach Head sang loudly from the passenger seat of a Snow Cat that Snow Job was driving.

"Man, we gotta hide you from Trinity. For some reason, they like hanging around with you." Snow Job shook his head. He then looked at Beach Head and slapped him. "I always wanted to do that, heh heh."

"Dead parrot! Ex-parrot!" Beach Head exclaimed. Pietro zipped beside the Snow Cat.

"What's with Beach Head?" Pietro blinked, wearing a special winter version of his costume.

"He got found by Trinity." Snow Job snickered.

"My brain hurts." Beach Head giggled. Meanwhile, Lady Jaye was skiing down the hill, trying to avoid the Crimson Guard Commanders.

"And to think, I gave up skiing in the Alps with Flint for _this!_" Lady Jaye grumbled to herself.

"Faster, Tomax! We must capture the TREE!" Xamot yelled. The twins barely avoided colliding with a tree. "Who put…"

"That there?" Tomax growled. "Trees suck. We must capture the ROCK!" Tomax screamed. The twins managed to avoid getting knocked on their faces by a giant rock. "Who put…"

"That there?" Xamot snarled. "Rocks suck."

**The ****Cobra****Temple**

"All units, attack and destroy the Joes!" Destro yelled into a microphone in the communications room of the pink. "I shall direct the battle from this remote location."

"Duh." Baroness rolled her eyes. "I'm not surprised." A crashing was heard. Destro and the Baroness looked out the door. They saw a couple Cobra Vipers playing tug-of-war with a chocolate cake. "Oh, you have **got** to be kidding me."

"Not _this_ again." Destro moaned.

"Gimme that cake!" The Cobra Viper yelled.

"No! It's my cake!" The second Cobra Viper screamed back. "My mommy made that for me!"

"Didn't the Dreadnoks do something stupid like this recently **(1)**?" Baroness blinked.

"I don't know and I don't care." Destro sighed. "For some strange reason, I can't think what, I am feeling the urge to have some drinks right now." A trio of Cobra Vipers ran in, dressed in red.

"No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!" The lead Cobra Viper exclaimed.

"I'll join you for those drinks." The Baroness said.

**(1) - See "Cobra Stops the World (NOT!)"**

Well, well, well! Looks like Cobra's in trouble! What insanity will happen next? Can our heroes save the day? Will Destro and Baroness ever get a break? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	11. Battling!

**Fried Money, Anyone?**

_To Aaron: Hey there, Aaron! Nice to hear from you again! Yeah, Ace will never get over the fact he lost some money. Beach Head was pretty funny in this chapter, I must admit. Trinity managed to give him some good old-fashioned trauma before he was sent into action. I'm glad you liked the scene with the twin Crimson Guard Commanders and the skiing and the trees and the rocks. Those are common hazards when out skiing. I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To todd fan: Hey there, todd fan! I've been reading all your new stuff, and I loved it all so far. Yeah, random Cobra insanity rules. I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Random Tales from the Magic Roundabout", "X-Men: Evolution, the Musical", and "Slugs and Snails" (I paid a little tribute to you in the last chapter)!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there, Red Witch! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, the Monty Python guys are some of my favorite comedians, and it was a little tribute to todd fan's fic "Slugs and Snails". Scott sings about spam when he finally snaps in the story. Yeah, I thought it would be funny to see the twin Crimson Guard Commanders avoid getting smashed against trees and rocks. Those are common hazards to skiers, don't you know, heh heh. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Evolution XMJ"!_

_To RogueFanKC: Hey there, Rogue Fan! I just read your new one-shot "Toon Physics, Looney Laws, Mutant Mayhem", and I loved it! Yeah, a lot of Looney Toon physics does seem to apply to the X-Men and the Misfits. I've noticed that too in a lot of my own fics now that I think about it. Ahh don't worry, the paratrooper's fine. Cartoon physics, you know. Yeah, the Monty Python tribute is also a tribute to todd fan's fic "Slugs and Snails". In that fic, Scott starts singing about spam when he finally cracks. Oh, I agree. I think Lady Jaye and __Flint__ would see the romance in beating up Tomax and Xamot together. Heh heh. I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait to read more from you!_

**Disclaimer: "Yeah! You're the evil egg people who took my waffles!" - Cyborg, Teen Titans**

Chapter 11: Battling!

**The ****Rockies**

A huge battle had started between the GI Joes, the Misfits, and Cobra in the snowy Rocky Mountains.

"YA-HOO! Music to my ears!" A Joe known as Thunder hooted out happily from his Slugger, before it blew away a Cobra CLAW.

"Let's take it to 'em! WHOO!" Snow Job whooped from his Snowcat happily as he blasted Cobra CLAWs left and right.

"_Spam spam spam spam spam…_" Beach Head sang out from the seat next to Snow Job's. The red-haired white-clad Arctic trooper looked around quickly, and then slapped Beach Head across the face.

"Man, you are _definitely_ going to see Psyche-Out when this is all over." Snow Job grumbled. The red-haired Joe then shrugged. "Oh well, at least I still get to blast Cobras. YEAH! WHOO! TAKE THAT, COBRA! YEAH! WHOOOOOOOO!"

**The ****Rockies**

"Man, those twin twits never give up!" Lady Jaye groaned. She turned her head to keep an eye on them. "They should invent some kind of anti-Tomax and Xamot spray…"

"LOOK OUT! CLIFF!" Tomax and Xamot screamed in unison, pointing ahead of htem, eyes wide.

"Cliff? What cliff?" Lady Jaye turned her head back around. Her eyes widened. "OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" She stumbled down the cliff. _Oh, this is going to hurt._

**Inside the Cobra Base**

Inside the Cobra Base, Destro watched the battle. He turned to the camo-wearing terrorist ninja known only as Firefly.

"Firefly, I want you to take a flamethrower and go melt down that snow. It'll give the Joes something huge to worry about besides us." The steel-masked Scotsman ordered.

"I want extra for this. I'm an assassin, not a snowplow." Firefly replied.

"Hey, I got you those Baywatch DVDs you wanted as extra!" Destro exclaimed. Firefly smiled under his mask and closed his eyes.

"Good times…" Firefly drooled. "Ahhh…Yasmine Bleeth…Carmen Electra…Pam Anderson…God, I'm so lonely…"

"HEY!" The Baroness roared from another room. "FIREFLY! DID YOU EAT THE LAST JELLY DONUT?" Destro and Firefly's eyes widened.

"Oh shoot! I'd better run! I'll grab that flamethrower!" Firefly raced out of the room. Meanwhile, elsewhere in the base, near the Cobra vault to be exact, a red-clad Crimson Guardsman was ordering around a group of blue-clad standard troopers around.

"And whatever you do, do _not_ allow any of those stupid Joes or lousy Misfits near the thermal molecular ignition transmitter! If you do, you'll get your butts kicked by me!" The Crimson Guardsman yelled. One standard trooper started crying and ran out of the room. "Oh brother." As this was going on, Ripcord had snuck inside the base, and planted a bomb inside the vault.

"Hee hee hee…" Ripcord snickered to himself. "It's cliché, but it works. And to quote another famous cliché, 'This Cobra base is going to go out with a bang', heh heh."

**Back at the ****Rockies**

At the base of the cliff, Lady Jaye and Tomax were struggling. Both of them were holding one of Lady Jaye's trademark javelins, and they were trying to overpower each other.

"Give up, Joe." Tomax snarled. "You cannot defeat me."

"Can your one-liners get any more lame?" Lady Jaye grumbled. "Hey Tomax, what's your favorite music?" She pressed a button on her javelin. A rocket inside the javelin erupted in flame. "Mine is Rocket and Roll!"

"That one-liner's not much betterrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!" Tomax screamed as the rocket inside the javelin sent him over the edge of the cliff. "MOMMY!"

**High up on the mountain**

"I'm an assassin, not a snowplow." Firefly grumbled as he trudged up the mountain, carrying a flamethrower with the tanks on his back. "This had better be worth it. I can't believe the Baroness freaks out about the last jelly donut. I thought broads preferred _watching_ their weight."

"Baa." A voice said.

"Huh?" Firefly turned and saw a mountain goat. "What to you want?"

"Baa." The mountain goat gave Firefly a headbutt to the groin.

"AAAAAAAW!" Firefly howled in pain. He accidentally pulled the trigger of the flamethrower as he stumbled backwards. "AAAAAAAAAAH!" Firefly, with the flamethrower going full blast, tumbled backwards down the mountain. "HELP ME! IT HURTS! OW! MY BACK! OH! HEY! OOF! HELP ME! WAAAAAGH! MAMA!" Despite practically breaking every bone in his body, and stumbling down to the bottom of the mountain, Firefly managed to melt down the snow of the mountain.

"EEEEEEEEK!" Pietro screamed girlishly as he zipped away to avoid getting flooded. Water started covering the Joes' position.

"I took a shower this morning!" Lance growled.

"Give it up, Joes and Misfits!" Baroness crowed through a megaphone. "You're surrounded by water and remote-controlled ASPs."

"Here's mud in your eye!" Flint snapped back. "Wavedancer! Scarlet Witch! Avalanche! Disperse this water!" The three mutants nodded and got to work. Wanda blasted the water with hexbolts, Althea mentally took hold of the water, and Lance created waves of earth in order to disperse the water.

"We got this!" Wanda called. "There the water goes!"

"Have a drink on me, Cobra!" Althea yelled, sending a wave at the Cobra forces.

Well, well, well! Looks like the battle shall continue! What insanity will happen next? Will our heroes save the day? Will Ace get his hands on Tomax and Xamot? Will Baroness kill Firefly for eating the last donut? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	12. The Day Is Saved!

**Fried Money, Anyone?**

_To Red Witch: Hey there, Red Witch! Nice to hear from you again! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, I bet the Baroness does feel really stupid right now. Using water against a hydrokinetic. Did you paint your room red? I read the new chapter of "Evolution XMJ", and I loved it! Rachel/Jean bonding is fun. Enjoy the new chapter, Red, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Evolution XMJ"!_

_To Sparky Genocide: Hey there, Sparky Genocide! Nice to hear from you again! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Ace and Beach Head suffering delusions that cause them to go crazy and attack each other? I have plans for Ace to suffer a delusion in this chapter! Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Aaron: Hey there, Aaron! Nice to hear from you again! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, Beach Head is losing it. I thought that the fight between Lady Jaye and the twins would be god for some laughs. Firefly is a straight guy, so who can blame him for crushing on the Baywatch babes? You've seen them? They're GORGEOUS! Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Raliena: Hey there, Rae! Nice to hear from you again! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To todd fan: Hey there todd fan! Nice to hear from you again! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! I read your story "A Rabbit's Tale: Journey", and I loved it! Paranoid squirrels are so funny. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Slugs and Snails", "X-Men: Evolution, the Musical", "Random Tales of the Magic Roundabout", and "A Rabbit's Tale: Journey"!_

**Disclaimer: "No no, I blew a funny fuse." - Eric Cartman, ****South****Park**

Chapter 12: The Day is Saved!

**The ****Rockies**

Ace flew towards Lady Jaye's position.

"Come to daddy, to you little punks." Ace smirked evilly. "Come to Daddy." Meanwhile, Xamot was about to shoot Lady Jaye.

"So sorry I have to do this, my dear." The financier smirked smugly. "But I wish to tell you. I am not going to kill you out of any personal malice, unlike that whiny girly boy Virus. This is purely business." Xamot and Lady Jaye looked up as they heard a roar from the sky. And it was growing louder.

"**_I WANT MY MONEY!_**" Ace roared as he dove down toward Xamot and slammed into the financier like a bullet hitting bone.

"HEY!" Xamot yelled. "WHAT THE! WHO ARE YOU AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! HELP ME! MOMMY! OWWW! THAT HURTS! WATCH IT! AUGH! NOT THERE! NOT THE FACE! DON'T HIT ME THERE! YEAGH! MOMMY! SAVE ME! OH DEAR GOD NO! I'M TOO PRETTY TO DIE!" Ace started using Xamot as a demonstration of the results of attack techniques that brought about instant and immense moments of pure pain. Lady Jaye winced and retched as she saw a screeching and snarling Ace smash, bash, trash, and basically beat the living snot out of Tomax.

"Ohh…" Tomax moaned as he climbed up the cliff. "That was _not_ fun. I think I'm going to be sick for a year. How do those freaks in the Misfits deal with that stuff? Ooh…" Tomax managed to climb up the cliff. "Oh God…" His strange link with Xamot activated, and he started screaming as he felt the blows and pain of his brother. He also got slapped around and broken and battered like his brother. Lady Jaye winced.

"Eew…man, talk about your telegraphing punches." The brown-haired Joe retched. "I never thought I'd say this, but boy do I feel sorry for those two overgrown twin circus clowns."

**Inside the Cobra Vault**

"Time to go." Ripcord said to himself as he climbed his way out of the Cobra vault.

"Hold it right there." A Viper appeared out of nowhere and pointed his gun at Ripcord.

"Hey look!" Ripcord pointed ahead. "Pam Anderson!"

"Pammy?" The Viper turned around. "Is that you WHOA!" He tripped over his shoelace and fell down to the floor of the vault. Ripcord shook his head.

"Man, Cobra's full of idiots." The HALO jumper said to himself as he continued his ascent. He managed to ascend the snowy mountain. Soon after, the vault exploded. "That rocked."

"Wow." Lady Jaye said when she saw the explosion.

"Yeah." Ace nodded. "And I thought that Pyro created a huge explosion when he deided to experiment with BA's Royal Crepe Suzette Flambé." In the background, a whimpering Tomax and Xamot crawled away.

"We want our mommy…" The twin Crimson Guard Commanders whimpered while crying their eyes out. The explosion sent Cobra's coins flying everywhere. It became a rain of coins.

"Pennies from Heaven?" Roadblock remarked, catching some Cobra coins in his hand. Blob was running around trying to catch some coins with his tongue. The Cobra troops immediately abandoned their vehicles and posts and started running around, trying to collect the coins.

"Whee, I'm Super Mario!"

"I'm rich!"

"Money money money!"

"Whoo yeah! Free moolah!"

"Cash money!"

"You **fools**" The Baroness screamed. "The coins are made of a gold-plated para-Cobra polymer alloy! They're not real! They'll be useless unless we beat the Joes! You fools! You twits! YOU MORONS!" She noticed the Joes and Misfits staring at her with evil grins. "Uh oh…I'd better get the heck out of here."

**The Pit communications room, sometime later**

Ace, Ripcord, Alpine, Lance, and Toad were resuming some old business they really needed to finish up: their poker game.

"Okay boys, prepare to lose your money. Again." Ace smirked.

"Oh God…" Todd moaned. "Man, I'm about to lose my shirt, yo."

"If Althea heard you say that, she'd do everything in her power to get your shirt off." Alpine chuckled. The five laughed.

"Man, I can't wait for you two to turn 21." Ripcord chuckled. "That way we can have cigars and alcohol and make it a _real_ poker game."

"Yeah, that is if we can escape the significant others." Lance agreed.

"Straight flush, boys! Read 'em and weep! The King of Gambling still reigns supreme. Bow before my unstoppable might." Ace started to grab all the cash in the pot. "And speaking of escapes, how did you manage to escape the Cobra vault?"

"Easy." Ripcord replied. "All I did was distract him by telling him Pam Anderson was around. Then, I tied his shoelaces together, and he tripped and fell on his face."

"Which is exactly what you're going to do for the first time, Ace." Lance smirked as he revealed his hand. Ace's jaw dropped.

"You're joking…" Ace gulped.

"Oh no…" Lance smirked. "Royal Flush, baby. Nothing can beat it. Hand over that money!" Lance grinned as he took the pot. "I got a royal flush, and you got an empty wallet."

"Terrific." Ace groaned. "You're just like Cobra: You've got money to burn."

Well, well, well! Looks like the day is saved, and Lance is a little bit richer! What insanity will happen next? What further adventures will our heroes encounter? Find out soon! This is L1701E, staying thanks for reading!


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